Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
