guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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