What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
