Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
