so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she smelled like a LAN party
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
