omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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