I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
