are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
