I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude i'm inner monologue high
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
