oh god the rape fog is back!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
