god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
