you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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