How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
