Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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