please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
