oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
