think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
