a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
