So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
