i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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