Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My sheets look like a crime scene.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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