I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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