a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
