Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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