She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
