I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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