One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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