I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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