dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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