You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
