It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
where does the pee come out of this thing
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
