It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So much rum. So many feels.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
