Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
