I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
