I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
