from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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