i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
