I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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