I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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