I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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