he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
