you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
