Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
