I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
