Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
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