what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Randomize
