he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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