thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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