Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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