Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My liver just broke up with me...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
